DISTRICT 14-A—The Regional Council voted 7-0 Tuesday to ban all forms of humming in public and private...              
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                WASHINGTON D.C.—Republican Emperor Maximillian Arthrew signed Executive Order 14,847 on Monday, officially ending birthright citizenship for all...              
            
                DISTRICT 431-A—The Municipal Joy Authority has implemented round-the-clock smile monitoring after studies showed workplace happiness levels dropped...              
            
                ZONE 203-C—The local school board voted unanimously Monday to remove the letters S, E, and T from...              
            
                ZONE 445-BETA—Resident homeowner Marcus Chen-7834 received an automated termination notice from SolarCorp Premium this week after his...              
            
                CAPITAL DISTRICT—The Department of Redundancy Department held a press conference Tuesday to announce the establishment of a...              
            
                SECTOR K-12—Social media influencer Ashley Lee-9374 signed an exclusive partnership agreement with NutriSlurp Energy Drinks that legally...              
            
                GLOBAL—The persistent high-pressure system that has blanketed the entire planet since August 2092 shows no signs of...              
            
                DISTRICT 12-C—Local artificial intelligence DAVE-7729 expressed shock and dismay Monday after learning that his position as senior...              
            
                QUADRANT X-7—Local resident Sarah Marsh-4471 confirmed Tuesday that her dating profile on the MegaCorp-owned platform LoveSync still...